iP3K

I haven’t posted about myself or about my work situation in ages. Mostly because I don’t believe it to be that interesting or note worthy. When I started this blog I saw it as an online diary that could keep track of my different impressions of what ever happens in the world. Lately I’ve been focusing on reviewing a bunch of stuff but not really for the sake of pouring my heart out. Mostly trying to drive traffic to the blog. Hoping to make a few pennies. I’m a die hard optimist most of the time and if I have the blues I can dismiss it after good night sleep… Right now I feel there is some foreshadowing coming from the 40s crisis that men tend to have (when they reach their 40s). Questioning my career choices and decisions, trying to make a living, valuing your qualities and proving yourself shouldn’t take such a toll on me. But they do… and it down right sucks. One day your in a perfect spot, not really thinking ahead or what tomorrow may hold. You believe in destiny, and somehow God has a plan for you, a way to be meaningful… until the day you realize you might have to wait longer than expected. You’re starting to loose confidence in your ability to keep your head above the water. You think you’re skilled but there is always that other one that beats you to the punch. You can’t be number one, and you sure can’t be in the top 10 either. I’ll be 22 next month and I get the feeling I’ve wasted so much time not doing the right things so far. Realizing this now might be a blessing or a curse who knows… Eat, sleep, play is not that different from Commute, work, sleep. For now I’m longing for the latter option.